Today I dropped George off to nursery for his second time. The first time was super hard because it was the unknown, but the second time was harder in some way because he knew that I was leaving him. He clung on to me a little tighter, his little hands not wanting to let go. But he did, and he smiled, and he went off happily as I put a smile on my face, turned to walk out the door and then let the tears come. I didn’t want him to pick up my emotions because he would, he is a sensitive little soul like his mommy!
So, I got in the car, drove home to an empty house and then went for a walk and some breakfast in the park with my journal, my pen and a meditation playing into my ears (I used the Insight App today for my meditation). The sun was shining so the meditation seemed to work better because I could feel the heat of the light hitting my skin, just what I needed – to feel protected, to feel connected to feel goodness.
Anyway, my meditation finished so I put my phone down and I sat there with my journal and my coffee and I started writing and letting my feelings flow onto the page. The best feeling! My mind was focussed on connecting to me and what I needed to feel. But then, as life makes us do, I reached for my phone. But the screen was completely black and there was no life to it at all. I know I had a full battery so it wasn’t that. My phone was just not doing anything. I instantly thought “Oh great, that’s my phone buggered!” but then I just put it back in my bag and carried on, determined that I wasn’t going to let it stress me out. I picked it up a few more times, resetting it with the sneaky iphone reset trick but still nothing. I didn’t panic. I had chosen not to. I had chosen to trust that it would be ok.
So I carried on eating my breakfast slowly, like an adult, because I could – I didn’t have a one year old hanging off me! I could eat without dropping anything down me (just about!!). I sat and drank my coffee. I journaled. I just sat and listening, watched and felt the world around me.
I walked home and my phone was still a black screen. Nothing. Nada.
I walked in the front door and my phone came to life. Literally just woke up.
It was like someone was telling me I needed to take that time this morning. That I needed to just sit. In silence. With no distraction of life. Just sit, be still and be present. It was telling me I needed to take a break.
So the moral of this story, is that sometimes you have to pick up the signs that you need to take a break. Instead of stressing about my phone not working I just trusted that it would be OK and I was present in the moment that I had created for myself. I took the time I needed. I took the 30 minutes that I needed to be still. And I know that 30 minutes of stillness will make me have the most productive of days today.
So, next time something happens that could be annoying or stressy, try and flip the script and see if it is trying to tell you something else. Open up your ears and heart to what is around you and honour it.
This may feel a little woo woo for you but that is OK. It may have just landed in your presence at the right time. I hope it helps you
Right, back to building my empire!