Loneliness.

22 SEPTEMBER 2017 // REAL LIFE

I feel a little bit vulnerable about sharing this blog post and it has been sitting in my blog drafts for over a week. I stopped pressing send because I thought it would make me seem weak. I stopped pressing send because I thought it may look as if I was being ingenuine and measured, and I really, hand on heart am not (and I know the people who really know me will know this anyway). But, I decided to press send anyway, because, after a few conversations I have had this week, I know it will help the people it needs to.

The subject is loneliness.

I wrote this post the first day I got back from a really beautiful two week holiday. We got back late on the Wednesday and Thursday was a back to normal day. My husband, Tom, went to work and so did I. I sat at my desk, opened my emails and opened the to-do list notebook I have updated before I went away. I had planned in a day of grace before getting straight back into client work, but, as I sat there I have the heady mix of loneliness and overwhelm wash over me (with a pinch of WTF am I doing!).

I felt so lonely.

I had been with Tom every day for the last two weeks and we had had the best holiday ever. Really. I was so full of gratitude for the time we had spent together and I knew I was super lucky to have my business. To be able to walk from the bedroom to the office and I was there. To be able to do what I love every day and not have to deal with corporate politics that used to make me DREAD going back to work after my holidays, back in my corporate days. I WANTED to go back to work because I love what I do so much.

I didn’t deserve to feel down.

This was the first holiday since having my business that I had a full two weeks off, with no “Oh, I just need to do this quickly” and no guilt, as my clients knew I was away and I had gotten everything I needed to get done, done, before I went.

I didn’t deserve to feel low. But I did.

When you feel like this and you don’t have the company of other people around you, all those mind monkies start jumping around and the self-doubt thoughts come creeping in. It is easy to spiral. Having no one around to talk to can make it worse.

I tried to shake the feeling.

I did some meditation, and some journaling – two tools which always help me. I got up and had a boogie and (what felt like) my 10th cup of coffee but I couldn’t shake the loneliness. So, I went for a walk to the local park and felt even more lonely.

I was happy when Tom came back that night.

One of the reasons I halted from posting this was because I said it made me feel ingenuine and manufactured (which it really isn’t) and the reason is because the one thing that got me out of this spiral of self-doubt, of what the flip and I doing, was the community I have around me. The personal community I have with my business besties (you know who you are and you are flippin awesome!) and the community of wonderfully amazing clients I work with inside my programme and my Wedding Biz Club. These are real people but the connection is online. I was always dubious of “online friends” but oh my days, they have saved me on many occasions – you can be more vulnerable and more open and honest online because no one judges. Everyone is in the same place.

These people just GET it. We are all people growing our business, creating our dreams – some are a few more steps ahead and some are just starting out. As a teacher I need to be teaching from a place of genuine heart, that is core to me as The Wedding Biz Coach, and I paused from posting this blog post because I thought it would make me look weak, and out of control.

But I am not, I am just real and I am on the same journey as you are, just a few paces ahead.

You see, no one gets it, unless you are in it. I had no right to be down, I had just had an amazing holiday and I get to wake up every day and do what I love and what I am passionate about, working with women who I genuinely love. I have no right to feel down. But being your own boss Is hard when you are walking the walk on your own, fighting those self-doubt fairies on your own, when no-one in your family or friendship circle truly get it.

It’s not their fault, they just haven’t walked the path so cannot feel the bumps in the road.

I am afraid I don’t have a magic wand to fix this for you if you feel like this every now and then (or more often than not!), but my big piece of heartfelt advice from one dream maker to another is reach out and get that community. Get people around you who understand the roller-coaster of emotion that is being the self-employed person, the boss, the CEO, the entrepreneur – whatever you want to call yourself.

As I say, I halted posting this because I didn’t want it to look like I was saying “Hey, you need community because you are sad and alone – Join The Wedding Biz Club blah blah blah!” It made me feel like it was part of an ikky marketing strategy, but it really isn’t.

It is true life.  It is real life. It is a true story.

And I know that there are some of you out there at the moment who feel like this because the kids have either started school, or gone back to school and life has returned to you and your desk. You expected to be excited to get back into routine (anyone else crave that, or is it just me!) but instead you feel lonely. You feel like you should feel revved up and raring to go, but you feel alone.

I should have been revved up and raring to go the first day I got back! After a beautiful, relaxing and blessed holiday. And I was in a way, tons of new ideas, lots of plans for the end of the year made whilst soaking up the Sicilian Sun, but that feeling of loneliness stole my drive and replaced it with overwhelm and that little familiar voice “Can I really do this?!”

I just wanted you to know you are not alone, and if you feel you need support and community then The Wedding Biz Club may be right for you. This is not an ikky sales thing, this is a hand reaching out if you want to grab it. You can read more here >>>

And…just to say…

Before I get lots of worried messages from my clients (I can see you – opening up Facebook Messenger whilst reading this!) I am back now to full form, 100% Emma and it is because of YOU that I am. You remind me every day what it is all about, and seeing your amazing progress makes my heart smile wider than you can ever know.

 

Emma 

x

 

P.S. Reading this last paragraph back before hitting publish has made me cry and I have just done my makeup!! Off I go to find cotton buds and eye makeup remover for a wobbly bottom lip rescue mission!

 

 

The Wedding Biz Club: The online community for wedding biz owners who want to be part of something. A place of support, connection and EDUCATION.

Emma Etheridge

Emma is The Wedding Biz Coach. Working with wedding professionals all over the world to help them grow their wedding businesses. She teaches more than just the what and the why. She teaches the how. She teaches the invisible aspects of running a business, of being an entrepreneur. Her approachable nature and easy to learn style means that once scary strategies become non-scary. They become do-able, achievable. Nothing is impossible.

THE WEDDING BIZ CLUB

The place to be for any wedding business owner who craves community and support and business friendship and business bundles of loveliness (without leaving the house!). It's pretty great over here.

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